Fish and Custard
by StarExplorer623
Summary: Amy and Rory decide to go on a date, but they stumble upon a little secret the Doctor has kept. I might decide to make it longer, but for now, its a one shot.


"Now Pond," the Doctor whispered. "Hand me that last card."  
Amy picked up the last card from off the floor, near where there were empty card boxes strewn around her feet. She had to work her way carefully around the massive model of the Taj Mahal made up entirely of playing cards that took up half of the main room of the TARDIs. The Doctor was suspended from the ceiling by a harness, and he hovered just above the big onion dome in the center. Grinning up at him, Amy stood on tiptoe to hand him the final card. With great care, the Doctor lowered it onto the very top of the building. "You stay right there," he told the card, pointing at it threateningly. "I have some friends in some very high places, so I would suggest not moving at all." Amy raised an eyebrow and laughed.  
"Ooo, the mighty Doctor. Even the king of hearts trembles before his threats."  
He gave her a look. "I'll have you know, if you ever met someone from the planet of Card...topia, you would want them to know who's boss."  
"And you expect me to believe that "Cardtopia" exists?" Amy asked.  
"No," the Doctor shouted from his harness. "Because it doesn't."  
Amy took a few steps backward to admire their work. It was, the Doctor claimed, a perfect size replica in every way possible, using cards as the main material at least. She had no idea how he did it. Looking up to him swinging back and forth like a kid in a candy store, she really had to wonder. "How does it look, Pond?" he called, grinning.  
Rory just has to see this, she thought. "Rory!" she yelled up the staires farther into the TARDIS. "Rory, look at this!"  
Moments later, Rory came down the steps, dressed in a suit jacket with a tie and tan dress pants. He stopped briefly to take in the giant model building with the Doctor spinning joyously above it and nodded nervously. "Uhh...that's very convincing Doctor." Then his eyes were on Amy and he missed the flying Doctor's crushed expression. "Wow," Amy took in Rory's outfit from his for once neat hair to his polished shoes. "You look...swanky."  
"Thanks," Rory said smiling. He straightened his tie and pulled down the cuffs of his jacket. "Mrs. Williams, would you like to go on a date tonight?"  
Amy laughed and took Rory's hand. "That sounds like fun, Mr. Williams." She planted a kiss on his cheek, and Rory smiled with success.  
"ICK!" The Doctor shouted, making them both look up. He rolled his eyes, now hanging upside down. "Alright, ok, fine. Rory, just push that lever in SLOWLY. You can go to Paris for your lovey dovey date."  
Rory gave him a thankful nod and pressed the lever in all the way. With a jolt, the TARDIS moved into action and the married couple fell to their knees. The Taj Mahal fell apart from the inside, becoming a pile of playing cards in the matter of few seconds. They heard a snap and the Doctor fell into pile of cards. When the TARDIS finally stopped its rocking, Amy and Rory went to help him stand. He shrugged off their help and straightened, his hair a mess and half-crushed playing cards sticking to his face and clothes. "Rory," he said, pursing his lips angrily. "Rory, I said slowly."  
Rory's mouth opened and closed like a fish. Amy had to cover her mouth from bursting out laughing. Finally, he managed, "Sorry."  
Amy couldn't help but giggle as she ruffled the Doctor's hair into a more suitable state of disarray. "So Doctor, you'll come with us?" Behind her, Rory's face turned into an angry frown.  
The Doctor stuck his tongue out at Rory. "Well, I should probably come, for your protection and all that." He waved Amy's hand away and messed up his hair again. A playing card had gotten into his front pocket, and he fished it out. "Do you think that the restraunt has fish fingers and custard?"  
"Fish fingers and custard?" Amy asked, smilling at the memory. "I can't see a fancy place in Paris having that."  
The Doctor turned away, sloshing through the cards to the TARDIS console. "Hmmm. Maybe I should stay then. Maybe I can make the Eiffel tower for challenge!"  
Something in his tone made it sound like he was avoiding the subject. "Wait," Amy said, moving to the other side. "Can't you just eat something else?"  
"Amy, I could check in the TARDIS' wardrobe," he said, changing the subject as he sped around the console, checking dials and pulling knobs. "We could find you something nicer to wear."  
"Nice?" Amy asked incredulously. She looked down at what she was wearing. "Doctor, are you saying-"  
"Are you serious?" Rory cut in. "Doctor, you haven't eaten anything else, have you?"  
The Doctor looked up sharply. "What? Oh, of course I have!"  
"No you haven't" Amy said slowly, raising her eyebrows. "Rory's right. I've never seen you eat anything else."  
"Time Lords don't need to eat," he retorted. "We absorb the energy right out of the time vortex. Timey wimey, mmm how delicious. Now you too, go have a nice, normal dinner date. Hold hands, snog, eat each other's faces." He ushered them to the door frantically, but Rory and Amy refused to leave. "Really Doctor?" Amy asked. "Prove that fish sticks aren't all you eat," Rory challenged. The Doctor looked from Rory to Amy, both faces stubborn, Rory's expression concerned and Amy's amused. He sighed. "Alright, I'll prove it to you."  
Rory shared a knowing glance with Amy, opened the door and stepped outside. Amy looked at the Doctor haughtily. "I've got you now," she said, and slipped outside after Rory.  
"Be out in a moment," the Doctor called after them. He shut the door and ran down the steps to the bottom level of the control center. He pulled open a small refrigerator he kept hidden in the conrer, and stuffed his pockets full of fish sticks and poured custard from a carton right into his jacket pocket. Frowning, he ran back up to the door of the TARDIS and hopped outside.


End file.
